The Gargantuan Dinner
by Diana Fattori & Nando Musmarra
This is the story: I am leaving from my town, and just before climbing on the train, my cell phone rings, and a friend of mine with very excited voice tells me, "Diana, I did it! The dinner will be tonight. Every guest has accepted the invitation! Be prepared!
"I knew about the dinner, but I didn't imagine that everything would happen so fast, and I didn't even suspect that I would have to cook...oh my God...what now? The guests belong to the gotha of international paleontology: dinosaur specialists, invertebrate experts, famous malacologists, paleobotanists and even a paleoherpetologist...I am not exactly famous for my culinary skill, yet the dinner must be prepared very fast. Mumble, mumble...I make some phone calls to some good friends of mine, asking if they can help. So I change my schedule, and instead of jumping on the train, I return homeward, but before that I make a stop at the fish market...
Et voilà! Oysters and Capasante, an excellent appetizer!
Chesapecten nefrens, Eastover Fm., Surry Co., Virginia. Crassostrea gryphoides, Serravallian, Montagnac, France.
Then we prepare a first course dish. Everybody loves spaghetti with clams. We fry small garlic cloves, we cook the pasta "al dente," the parsley is added, then a little black pepper or chili... What a nice smell!
Chione latirata, Fort Thompson Fm., Manate Co., Florida. Japanese decoration by Yukako Nishiguchi.
Tonight we have a very important dinner, so we decide to prepare one more classical Italian first dish: pasta with the black of the cuttlefish and shell-fishes (ok, I have to admit that my friends are cooking and I am just helping...)
On the table: Chicoreus floridanus, Strombus leidyi and Anadara rustica on Planorbella disstoni. In the dish, 9 o'clock, clockwise: Architectonica nobilis, Bulla attenuata, Cancellaria conradiana, Vokesimurex rubidus, Trachycardium sp., Hanetia mengeana, Eupleura caudata, Prunum precursor and Calliostoma limulum. The fossil shells are from De Soto Co., Florida; the fusilli pasta is Archimedes sp., Mississippian, oolitic limestone beds, Crawford Co., Indiana; the ice cube in the glass is Iceland spar
Second course: meat. Some of our guests are specialists on Jurassic vertebrates. What is better than a big dinosaur steak?
The steak is a piece of agatized dinosaur bone, Morrison Fm., Utah. The asparagus is petrified wood with copper inclusion, Grand Co., Utah. The vegetable on side is malachite from Zaire.
Several people are unduly critical of T. rex steak, asserting that it has a very high cholesterol content. More recent studies demonstrate that this isn't true-instead the dino meat is very similar to ostrich meat. So the guests can enjoy it, but they must deal with the last problem: to cut a T. rex steak, is it better to use the serrated tooth of a C. megalodon or a steel knife from Sweden?
Carcharocles megalodon, Yorktown Fm., Beaufort Co., North Carolina.
Second course: fish. Fried fish is a popular dish, and it is easy and fast to prepare.
Diplomystus dentatus and Knightia eocaena, Green River Fm., Lincoln Co., Wyoming.
My friends and I tried to cook a difficult course: duck and orange. Sadly, the friend who brings the duck brings it still...alive! As the poor animal sees the knife, it flies miles away, landing on a distant pool. What remains for us is just the duck's track....
Fossil tracks of Presbyornis sp., Green River Fm., Utah Co., Utah. Note the fossil raindrops on the bigger shale.
Clitumno's Springs, Umbria, Italy
We really want to cook birds for our dinner. This time the birds go on the spit, after a little battle where they leave some...feathers!
Fossil bird tracks, Green River Fm., Utah Co., Utah; fossil feather, Green River Fm., Lincoln Co., Wyoming.
To be "politically correct" chefs, we also prepare a vegetarian dish: caciocavallo cheese. I forgot about the veggie thing, so I prepare fried bacon on the side...and, guess what? Every guest enjoys it!
The caciocavallo cheese is a concretion from Quay Co., New Mexico. The bacon is Argentinian rhodochrosite.
The cook's team worked hard the whole afternoon to prepare a big fish cooked in a wooden oven, and our guests enjoyed it a lot...they left just the fish bone!
Mix of shark's vertebrae and teeth from Pungo River Fm. and Yorktown Fm., Beaufort Co., North Carolina. On the table, two fossil snails Ecphora quadricostata, Westmoreland Co., Virginia.
With their last energies, all the guests gobble the blueberry fruit salad and the last piece of bread.
Garnets from Almeria, Spain. Stone from Scraio beach, Campania, Italy. Decorations by Yukako Nishiguchi.
Then, the dessert menu: a tiramisù slice, a glass of champagne, a cup of coffee...and to finish...a big cigar...
What a gargantuan dinner!
The tiramisù is calcite from Luna Co., New Mexico; the champagne is labradorite from Lake Co., Oregon; the sugar is ultra white sand from Otero Co., New Mexico; the coffee is black sand (made of obsidian) from Hawaii; the ashtray is chalcedony from Graham Co., Arizona; the cigar is a Belemnitella sp., Campanian, Hannover, Germany.
Suddenly, there is a noisy, loud whistle, a rough brake, and a voice croaking: "Last stop, we have arrived at the station!" Maybe I slept for a while, and I dreamed something that I don't remember. I feel quite stunned. And I have pangs of hunger.I get off of the train, and my legs, as in a trance, walk me toward a shop on whose sign there is written in big letters, the word "Restaurant"...
THE AUTHOR WISHES TO SPECIFY THAT TO WRITE THIS ARTICLE NO ANIMAL HAS BEEN IMPRISONED, INJURED OR KILLED.
Diana Fattori © 2010
This article was published in Fossil News Aug 2007.
